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#2.17 Docuventary II

"We're documentarians, man. It's our job." -Richard

Aired April 12, 2000

Written by J.J. Abrams & Tracy Abrams, Directed by Stan Salfas

Guests: Ian Gomez (Javier), Amy Smart (Ruby), Chris William Martin (Greg), Amy Aquino (Dr. Pavone), Robert Patrick Benedict (Richard), Donald Faison (Tracy), Alexis Arquette (Jim)

Summary

* most of this episode is shot "documentary-style." (whatever that is)

Sean and Richard try to interview Ben. Ben is stressed. Ben's hair is a mess. (someone, please beam Richard up).

Javi-ay agrees to do an interview with Sean (the camera only adds 10 pounds). But Feli doesn't want things to get personal again -- it's not a storyline, it's her life.

Ben wants to shove the camera up Sean's ass. Ben is wearing a hairnet. Enough said.

While Sean continue to pester Ben for an interview, Ben finds a retainer in one of the dishes he's washing (washing dishes = community service). Ben wants to know when Feli's doing hers.

Richard tries to cop a feel with Felicity while he and Sean set Felicity and Hair Boy up for their interview. Greg asks Feli about the kissing thing. Richard accidentally unplugs Hair Boy's computer.

Sean's still hounding Benny the busboy. Ben thinks Sean should interview Julie and tell her he loves her.

A toupeed Javi-ay thinks Felicity is an autumn. (okay). And Noel better not be gay.

Sean and Richard videotape Cyber Boy in class while Busboy watches in amusement.

Sean learns that Noel has gone from being an R.A. to a T.A.

Jim tells Feli that "Maureen" quit her job. Feli decides she wants it.

Javi-ay thinks Ben is a sweet dumb guy.

Ben enjoys filing, and still hates Greg.

Feli tells Greg she wants Mo's job.

Ben snoops in Greg's file.

Ben is still jealous of Hair Boy, but learns, to his joy, that Hair Boy was once convicted of cocaine possession (some have speculated that Hair Boy was bisexual, but this dark secret is even better). Ben seeks Cyber boy's advice.

Sean bargains with Meggie for an interview.

Javi-ay thinks Elena is sassy.

Tracy thinks McGrath is the prince of darkness. But more importantly, Noel's exams are missing.

Greg asks Feli to dinner, and Feli gets the job (but no connection, says Greg).

Feli, Elena and Julie celebrate Feli's new job. Ben unhappily learns that Feli is Hair Boy's new assistant.

Feli makes photocopies while Hair Boy gives New Boy the Health Center tour. On video, Sean catches Greg mentioning his date with Felicity. Richard decides that they have to spy.

Ben's a cop. (?)

Sean and Richard videotape Felicity and Greg on their date. Feli catches them and runs after 'em, creating their new "Blair Witch running with the camera at full speed while viewers get a headache" effect.

Ruby wants to be a curator after she becomes a mom. Ruby still likes Noel.

Noel would like to find out where the he__ is exams are.

Jim is mad that Feli took his job.

Greg admits that he "gave" Feli the job even though she wasn't as qualified as Jim. Felicity quits.

Tracy has a rabbit. Elena has a nametag. (Tracy was kidding). Noel's still frantically searching for those blue books.

Sean and Richard edit their docuventary. Sean is being condescending. Ben watches part of their "Felicity and Greg first date video footage" before storming out.

Hair Boy is snarky to Busboy. Ben in turn threatens Hair Boy with his cocaine secret.

Dr. Stinky lectures Felicity over her refusal to take the job. But Felicity doesn't have to agree with Dr. Stinky -- that's the beauty of it.

Javi-ay thinks his English is fantastic. Greg comes clean to Felicity about his drug problem. But they can't figure out what to do about the volunteer position that she still wants.

Felicity tries to scare New Boy away from the position (with a lame-o blood story), but New Boy quits after learning the position isn't paid, anyways.

Tracy admits that he likes competitive Elena.

Ben's a free man, but Sean still needs tears. That's when Benny the busboy finds Noel's exams.

Noel promptly punches Sean and camera for hiding said exams.

Even if he wasn't gay, Javi-ay still wouldn't like Julie.

Julie just wants someone who loves her (Sean thinks she'll find him).

Feli admonishes Benny for checking Hair Boy's files. Busboy almost admits that he loves her.

Greg kisses Feli at work [ed. note: Eek!].

Health Center Volunteer Guy now works at Dean and Deluca.

Ben is mad, yet again. As Sean sees it, drama is an ongoing process.

Meggie lost some bet, hence her R.A. status.

Meggie scares Javi-ay to death.