2.21: The Aretha Theory

"Jesus, Mary and San Jose." -Javi-ay

Aired May 10, 2000

Written by Andrea Newman, Directed by Jack Bender

Guests: Amy Smart (Ruby), Ian Gomez (Javi-ay), Chris William Martin (Greg-o), Donald Faison (Asbestos Boy), Robert Patrick Benedict (Richard), Kevin Weisman

Tunes: Sarah McLachlan ("Ice Cream"--Fumbling Towards Ecstasy / Mirrorball)

Summary

Greg kisses Feli. Greg dumps Feli. And the credits haven't even rolled yet [yah!].

Ben's hair is funny. Javi-ay wants a favor: Ben needs to buy him a ring. Romance is definitely in the air.

Chia, Power Ranger and Left Hook rehash their respective romantic woes over some really strange pumping activity (anyone?).

Noel and "9 months" make a movie date.

Elena's apartment is still a dusty, asbestos filled mess, thanks to Mole Boy.

Benjy thinks Chia was right about the whole chase scenario (much to Chia's dismay).

Felicity asks Meggie to take her out to that weird world of hers.

Chia convinces "Ranger" and "Leftie" to explore Meggie's weird world.

Cut to music-filled primping scene (no slo-mo, though) of all four girls getting ready.

Javi-ay stops by the loft just as the girls go out, and hopes they're packing heat.

At Weird World, a.k.a. underground dance scene, a.k.a. bizarro dance scene, a.k.a. weird world, Chia, Leftie and Ranger make a pact not to think about all things male. Many banzais are consequently drunk.

Ruby and Noel do the "this movie is a parable of our lives" thing until Smoothaise interrupts.

Benjy is sick of making a fool of himself ('nuff said). That is, till he learns that Chia dumped Hair Boy (like a yam).

Meggie and Feli do the funky chicken on stage.

Javi-ay and Ben show up at Weird World. Javi-ay kisses Ben to get into the club.

Ben watches Chia and company do the funky chicken.

Javi-ay plays Cupid, then gets himself a Banzai.

Chia and Swim Trunks do the talking thing.

Meggie goes after Chia and interrupts her bonding session with Hair #2.

Chia learns that Meggie has a Ben -- in the form of a drug-using, politically scheming, backstabbing doctor-wannabe Hair Boy -- who enters the underground store world just in the nick of time.

Meggie reveals her humanizing secret: she and Hair Boy were once married, in some elementary school sandbox (Meggie was once fat). But Hair Boy isn't interested (oops, make that "interesting"). Meggie's proposal to find another sandbox gets dropped like a yam.

Chia and Meggie head to "Richard as President" night.

Chia and Meggie decide they're Aretha Franklin.

Noel and "9 months" kiss.

Javi-ay practices on Swim Trunks (proposing to Samuel, that is).

Feli decides she doesn't need Swim Trunks after all, and leaves a longwinded message on his machine telling him so.

But the real lesson is not hair, secrets, or smoothaise -- it's Meggie's unexpected words of wisdom (the best time to get together with men is when you don't need 'em).

Chia tries to delete her "I hate men" message, but it's too late.

Daddio Wade calls while Noel and Ruby are snuggling, which Sean unexpectedly walks in on.

Sean learns that "thank you" means "maybe." At least to a Power Ranger.

Leftie returns to a completely refurbished pad courtesy of Mole Boy.

Chia learns that Ben cancelled his coffeehouse shift. That, and Samuel said yes.

Ben's used up all the words he gots. Ben's sick of running.

Ben gives Chia a reel of film, no wait, it's a time machine, no wait, it's a reel of film. More specifically, some flick about Charlie Chaplin. They watch it. They kiss. Hair gets ruffled. The end.

2000 jenoy@pacbell.net