The Broken Road, part 1

By Courtney & Lori

Rating: NC-17
Summary: Ben and Felicity spent the summer together and now they are finally
returning to school. But the road to love will definitely have some twists
and turns.
Disclaimer: We don't own the characters of Felicity. We are just borrowing
them. We promise to put them back where we found them when we get finished :-)

* * * * *

Felicity looked out the window as the plane began to make its descent.
She was almost there. Correction, *they* were almost there. She glanced at
Ben who was sleeping in the seat next to her and smiled. He looked so sweet;
she hated to have to wake him up. But, they were almost to La Guardia and
soon she'd have to get him up to leave the plane. It had been a nice flight,
just the two of them, and he'd slept most of the way. Felicity had enjoyed
the time to just snuggle up next to him and think about their summer together
and how wonderful it had been.
They'd spent most of their time together, though they had yet to "do it"
as her ex-roommate from hell, Meghan, always so bluntly put it. Felicity
didn't regret that, though. She was glad that she and Ben had waited. It was
worth it. Still, she knew they weren't going to wait much longer. They'd
spent all summer kissing and holding hands and getting to know each other on
the inside. Even she was ready to cut the chatter and get on with it. She
knew that would be soon.
The Statue of Liberty was barely visible through the clouds. New York was in
view. She just hoped that returning to New York didn't make all of what she
and Ben had shared over the summer disappear. In the back of her mind, no
matter how much Ben reassured her, she still feared that most of all.
Returning to school meant more than the start of their sophomore year. It
also meant facing all of the disarray she'd left behind when she last left
New York. There was Noel, of course. She hadn't spoken to him all summer. The
truth was, she hadn't tried to even contact him. She'd been too afraid of
what he might say. She'd chosen Ben over him; no matter how she tried to
sugarcoat it, it all came down to that. Noel couldn't be happy with her. And
he knew her number. So far, he hadn't tried to call her once. She took that
as a definite sign that he was far from over what had happened at the start
of the summer.
Julie was another story. How could Felicity expect the person who had
become her best friend to forgive her for stealing her boyfriend? True, Julie
and Ben had broken up, but still . . . Felicity knew how she'd feel if the
tables were turned. She couldn't blame Julie for hating her, but she still
missed her friend. They hadn't spoken since she'd left New York either.
In fact, the only person from school besides Ben that Felicity had talked
to all summer was Elena. She'd called to ask how Felicity would feel if she
roomed with Noel that year. Though she had to admit that it was a surprising
turn of events to say the least, Felicity didn't have a problem with it.
Elena and Noel were friends; there was nothing wrong with that. Besides, even
if she was with Ben now, Felicity would much rather see Noel living with
Elena than say, Hannah. That might just kill her, even now.
She wondered if Ben would be upset if he knew that she still thought
about Noel? It wasn't as if she wanted to get back together with him . . .
she just wanted her friend back. She wanted the Noel that she'd met at the
beginning of freshman year; the kind, sweet RA who had a little crush on her
and gave her relationship advice. Where had that guy gone to in such a short
time? Somewhere between Ben and Eli and Hannah, he'd been lost. And so had
she, maybe. She was no longer the innocent college freshman she'd once been.
She was now so much more complicated. It made her wonder if things could ever
be the same again.
The stewardess announced that the captain had turned on the seatbelt sign
and Ben started to rouse. He stretched and yawned, then turned to look at
Felicity as his eyes eased open. "Hey," he said groggily as he smiled at her.
"Hey you," she replied as she leaned in to kiss him. "We're about to
land," she informed him as their lips parted."
"Man, I've been asleep almost the whole flight," he said. She just
nodded. "Sorry, I bet you were bored."
"No, I was fine," she assured him. "It gave me time to think."
"What were you thinking about?" he questioned.
She shrugged. "I dunno . . . stuff . . . us, mostly."
She was smiling, but he could still see the worry hiding behind her eyes.
He'd seen it more and more as their return to New York grew closer. She was
afraid that the relationship they'd developed during their drive home and
over the summer in Palo Alto would be over once they returned to school. He
didn't know how many times he could tell her that that her fear was totally
unfounded. He'd finally gotten her; no way was she getting away that easy.
"It's going to be fine," he said as he squeezed her hand.
"I know," she nodded. "I know it is." She turned to look out the window
again as the plane grew closer and closer to the city below.
He nodded as well and pulled her against him. She rested the back of her
head against his shoulder and they watched together as New York came into
view. No matter what happened when they got off the plane, they both knew
that they'd be together. Felicity just hoped it would be forever.

* * * * *

Felicity let out a sigh as she tied her hair back before tackling her last
box of stuff. How had she accumulated so much stuff, she wondered. It was a
good thing she'd had Ben to help her get it back from the airport. Just as
she opened the box, there was a knock at her dorm room door.
"Who is it?" she called.
"It's me, Elena."
"Come in," Felicity called back excitedly as she hopped up from the floor.
Elena walked in and smiled at her friend. Felicity stepped closer and gave
her a hug.
"Girlfriend, look at you," Elena shrieked. "You're glowing."
"I am?" Felicity was delighted with the idea of glowing with happiness,
especially since it was Ben who made her that way.
"Yes," Elena answered, then asked slyly as she and Felicity sat together on
the bed, " Is it maybe because you and Ben got it on before you came here to
unpack?"
"No, it's not," Felicity replied with a giggle.
"So, you two haven't yet?" she asked in a surprised tone.
"Not all of us go straight to bed with a guy, Elena."
"I did it once," the tall young woman said indignantly. "And you have no room
to talk. The name Eli ring any bells with you?"
"Okay, let's discontinue this conversation before we end up fighting."
"Good idea. So how was the trip?"
"Amazing. I have tons of pictures to show you from the trip and the rest of
the summer. Did I tell you that Ben went with me to Hawaii to see my
grandparents?"
"No, you left that out. So, did they like him?"
"They adored him. My parents love him, especially my mom. I love his mom,
she's the sweetest, and the entire summer was just great."
"Sounds to me like you're in love," Elena said with a grin.
"Love? I don't know about love."
"You are *so* in love."
"How do you know?"
"Cause I know the look of love. Noel had it the entire time he was with you."
The mention of that name made Felicity's face fall. "How is he?" she asked.
"A little moody but no more than usual. I think he's retaining sperm," Elena
replied with a roll of her eyes.
"Elena!" Felicity shrieked, her giggles returning.
"What? They're allowed to accuse us of PMSing so we get to assume they're
retaining sperm," she stated matter-of-factly.
"You are too much," Felicity replied with a shake of her head. She smiled at
her friend, and said, "I missed you."
"I missed you, too but sounds like you were too busy to miss me all that
much," Elena chided.
"Not true," Felicity replied.
"Oh, come on. I was lucky to get an e-mail a week from you."
"But I gave you tons of details," she pointed out.
"Yes, you did. I never knew Ben was such a good kisser."
"I didn't tell you that!" Felicity replied.
"So, he's not a good kisser?" Elena asked with a tilt of her head and a
knowing look.
"He's amazing," Felicity admitted with a sigh.
"I knew it. He just has those lips," Elena said.
Felicity nodded in agreement. "Wonderful lips," she said dreamily.
"You've got it bad, girl," Elena said, smiling at her friend.
"Don't I know it?" She replied and they both broke into giggles again.

* * * * *

Ben glanced down at his watch again. Great. Perfect. Their first date
since they'd gotten back to the city and he was late. She was on edge as it
was. The last thing he wanted her to do was get upset. He'd helped her get
her things up to her dorm room when they got back into town, then he'd headed
over to Sean's loft to get settled back in. He hadn't really taken much home
since he knew he was coming back, so there wasn't much unpacking to do.
He called Felicity and she told him she'd been talking to Elena and was still
trying to get unpacked, but that he was welcome to come over if he wanted.
Elena had just left. He thought this sounded like the perfect opportunity for
some alone time with his girlfriend. However, when he got back over to
Felicity's dorm, he found her entrenched in an argument with none other than
Meghan, the Marilyn Manson of college roommates.
"Uh, hey . . ." he said wearily as he looked at the two girls giving each
other death stares.
"We're roommates again," Felicity said sourly. Meghan just sneered.
"Sounds like . . . fun?" Ben said timidly. They both turned their evil
glares his way and he held up his hands in surrender.
"Let's go get some coffee," Felicity said as she walked towards him.
Before he could respond, she had grabbed his hand and was pulling him out of
the room. He waved to Meghan, who just rolled her eyes and continued to
unpack in a huff.
"This is not great news, huh?" Ben said as they boarded the elevator.
"I was supposed to have a single this year. The RA gets a single. That's
the way it's supposed to be. But then they have this asphestous thing and one
of the dorms is closed and . . . ugh!" She rubbed her face with her palms.
"How am I ever going to live with her for another nine months of my life?"
she cried helplessly.
He moved closer and put his arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry,
sweetie. I know you were looking forward to living alone this year," he said
gently.
"We'll never have any privacy now," she whined. Ben wondered why her
childish behavior seemed to turn him on so much. He pushed the thought aside.
"We still have my place," he reminded her.
"Sean's there," she said.
"So? I have my own room. It's just like a dorm . . . only smaller. And no
Meghan Rotundi," he grinned and bent down to kiss her gently.
"No Meghan Rotundi," she repeated and kissed him again.
That had been hours ago. After they had coffee and she'd calmed down a
little, Felicity insisted that she needed to go and work things out with
Meghan. If they were going to live together and be co-RAs they had to find a
way to work through their differences.
Ben had agreed, and they'd made plans to meet for dinner at 7 o'clock at
an Italian place a few blocks from the dorms. It was now 7:15pm as Ben
shuffled quickly up the street and approached the doors to the restaurant. He
couldn't believe his luck. Sean had picked today of all days to tell him that
they were getting a new roommate. And when he found out who that roommate was
. . . well, this news was not going to help Felicity's day. He wondered as he
walked into the restaurant if he should even tell her. But, when he saw her,
he knew he had to. He couldn't lie to her. Besides, it would definitely be
better coming from him.
"Hey, sorry I'm late," he said as he approached. He bent down and kissed
her quickly then took the seat across from her at the small, round table.
"No problem, I was just looking over the menu," she replied. But, when
she looked up at his face, she saw something that concerned her. "Ben, is
everything okay?" she asked.
"Well, yeah . . . I mean, nothing terrible happened. I just . . . well,
Sean found us a new roommate," he said. Better to go ahead and get this over
with up front, he decided.
"Oh? You don't like him?"
"Her. And it's not that I don't like her . . ." he trailed off, unsure of
how to break this news to her. This was not going to go over well. He
imagined for an instant sitting across the table from her as she told him
that Noel would be moving in with her and the very thought made him grimace.
"Is it that Chloe girl from the library? I was wondering if Sean still--"
"It's Julie," he cut in.
Felicity sat there, rather stunned, for a moment. She opened her mouth to
speak, then closed it. She picked up her water glass and took a sip, then set
it down and ran her finger along the bottom of the glass for a moment.
Finally, without looking back at him, she said softly, "Julie?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't know he'd asked her," Ben replied. "She was living
with these cheerleaders and, well, I guess they were driving her crazy and
Sean just kind of asked her if--"
"Your Julie?" Felicity said as she looked up at him.
He reached across the table and took her hands in his. "No, not *my*
Julie. Just Julie. It's nothing. I mean, this doesn't change anything. I just
. . . I wanted to be the one to tell you, that's all."
She nodded and looked back down at the table, her face still conveying
the confusion and hurt she felt at this turn of events.
"I wish you wouldn't let this bother you," he said softly.
"Wouldn't it bother you?" she asked bluntly.
He had to be honest. "Yes, I suppose it would," he admitted. "But I
swear, it really doesn't change how I feel about you."
"And how is that, exactly?" she asked. It was a question she'd been
wanting to ask him, to qualify their relationship. She knew they were dating,
that was obvious. They'd spent the whole summer together, barely leaving each
other's side. They cared about each other and she felt like this was all
leading somewhere, but now she needed to know for sure where she stood. She
needed to know if what Elena had said that morning was true. Was this love?
She looked him straight in the eye and waited for his answer.
"I . . . what do you want me to say?" he asked.
"I just want the truth. How do you really feel about me?" she asked.
He thought about it for a long moment. There was so much he felt for her;
so many things he could say to describe what he held in his heart for this
woman sitting across from him. But, was this the time and place to be saying
them? Was this really the way he wanted to profess his feelings to her? He
looked into her eyes and suddenly he knew the answer. The people around them
didn't matter. Julie didn't matter. Nothing mattered, except Felicity. She
was what mattered to him now. And he wasn't going to let the wrong time or
place or circumstance take that all away. Taking a deep breath, he squeezed
her hands tighter as he finally let his true feelings show. "I love you," he
said softly.
She could see in his eyes that he wasn't just saying the words to placate
her; they were true. He *did* love her. And she suddenly knew that she loved
him, too; that she had all along, really. She smiled as they shared a kiss
across the table. Maybe things would work out okay after all.

* * * * *

Noel looked up from the newspaper he was reading when the door to his
apartment opened and Elena entered. Nodding to his roommate, he went back to
his reading as Elena dropped her stuff in a pile by the door and made her way
to the kitchen to get a snack. Noel didn't look up again till he felt Elena
staring at him.
"What's wrong?" he asked meeting her gaze.
"Wrong? Nothing is really wrong," Elena evaded.
"Okay so why are you staring at me?" he questioned.
"I'm having a personal debate with myself about telling you something that
could possibly be damaging."
"Oh boy." Noel put his paper down and gestured to the seat next to him.
"What's going on?"
Elena took the seat he had offered and looked at him. "Are you still mad at
Felicity?" she asked without preamble.
"Mad? Because she left me in the dust for a guy whose idea of academic
enrichment probably means dating a librarian?" Noel smiled sarcastically.
"Why would I be mad?"
"Noel technically you and she weren't going out when school ended so she
didn't leave you in the dust. She simply chose not to renew your relationship
over the summer," Elena pointed out.
"Do you have to be so rational about this?" Noel asked.
"One of us has to be," Elena smiled wryly. "Look I know it hurt when she
chose Ben over you last year but would you rather have her as a friend or not
have her at all?"
Noel looked thoughtful for a moment before asking, "Do you know where she's
living this year?"
"Baker Hall."
"Thanks Elena." Noel got up, grabbed his keys and left the apartment in
search of Felicity.

* * * * *

Julie yawned as she dug around in the cabinet in search of sugar. Why was
it that guys always had empty canisters on the counter top and a half-empty
bag of sugar stuffed in the cabinet? Men always seemed to have a way of
defying normal logic.
"It's in the next cabinet, if you're looking for sugar," she heard behind
her. She turned and saw Ben dressed in boxer shorts and am old REM T-shirt.
"Thanks," she mumbled as she turned back and finally found the illusive
sugar. "There's coffee, if you want," she said without turning back towards
him. He didn't respond, but he came around the counter and got his cup from
the cabinet, then poured himself a cup from the coffeepot to her right. He
brushed against her back as he moved over to the refrigerator for some milk.
"Sorry," he murmured.
"That's okay," she replied, then went to sit in the living room with her
coffee. She had known this would be awkward, and it already was. She'd moved
her stuff in the night before and by the time she got away from the
cheerleaders and over to the loft Ben had already left for the evening. She'd
heard him come home a little after midnight, but she'd already been in bed so
they hadn't had to see each other then. It was inevitable, though, that
they'd run into each other. It was kind of hard to live in the same apartment
and not see one another once in a while. She'd known that all along. She
wasn't sure they could ever be friends again, but they at least had to be
civil to each other. With that in mind, she finally broke the silence between
them.
"I'm not mad at you, you know," she said.
He turned around from his seat at the kitchen table, a little surprised
to hear her speak. "Huh?"
"I know you think I'm still upset about this summer. And, the truth is, I
was. I spent all summer swearing I'd never speak to you and Felicity again.
It's just . . . now that I'm back . . . well, I just want to call a truce. I
don't want us to hate each other. Okay?"
Ben was a little taken aback by this. He wasn't really sure how to take
it, but he was sure of one thing. Fighting with Julie while they lived under
the same roof was not a good idea. So, he nodded. "Okay, deal," he told her.
"Good." She looked back down at her coffee for a moment. She felt weird
now that she'd said all that to him. The silence seemed even more
uncomfortable around her. She needed to get out of this room. "Okay, well I
have to go look for a part-time job today so I better go get ready," she
announced as she got up and took her half-finished cup of coffee to the sink.
Ben nodded again. "Alright, good luck."
"Thanks," she said, then thought to herself, I'm gonna need all the luck
I can get this year.

* * * * *

Noel knocked nervously on Felicity's door and was surprised when her old
roommate, NYU's answer to Sabrina the Teenage Witch Goes Goth, Meghan answered.
Before he could get a word out, she rolled her eyes and turned back into the
room.
"Hey Pollyanna, your ex-better half is here." Meghan moved out the door and
Noel stood uncomfortably in the doorway looking at Felicity who was sitting
on her bed in a pair of sweat pants and a T-shirt looking at him.
"You can come in if you want," she offered quietly.
"Oh thanks." Noel entered the room and shut the door behind him. "So, um, how
are you?"
"I'm fine. Do you wanna sit?" she asked, motioning to a chair by her desk.
"Sure." Noel took a seat and looked at her for a moment.
"So what brings you here? How'd you know where I was?" she asked in rapid
succession.
"Elena told me."
Felicity laughed quietly. "Right I should have figured. So what's up?"
"I just came by to say hi and to ask how your summer was and to tell you I
don't completely hate you anymore." Noel realized what he said and scrambled
to cover. "Not that I ever did completely hate you but-"
"Noel, it's okay," Felicity said with a smile. "I know it hurt when I didn't
show up, but like you said when you told me about Berlin. You had to do what
you felt was right."
"And was it? Going with Ben I mean. Was it right for you?" Noel asked.
"Yeah, it was. I mean I know you and I would've had fun in Berlin but, Noel,
be honest. We are safe and reliable. We both need someone to make us feel
alive. For me, that's Ben," Felicity said.
"Okay."
"That's it?"
"That's it. Before I came over here Elena asked if I'd rather have you as a
friend or not have you at all."
"And?"
"Friend. It won't be easy but I'd like to go back to being friends."
Felicity smiled. "Me too. So, friends?"
"Absolutely."
"Good."
Noel looked at his watch. "I gotta go. I'm supposed to be interviewing for a
job." The two stood up and Felicity hugged Noel.
"I'll see you later?"
"Sure." Noel smiled and then he left. Felicity shut the door behind him, then
leaned against the door smiling. Well, that was one down and one to go. She
could only hope Julie was that easy.

* * * * *

Ben sat on his bed and pulled his foot up to tie his shoe. Today would be
his first day back at Dean and Deluca since he'd left for the summer. He had
really hoped that Felicity would be working with him, but at least Javier was
back. He'd been about ready to kill that woman they had brought in to replace
him when his visa expired. It would be good to have Javier back in change . .
. even if it did mean that he had to wear his hat.
He looked in the mirror as he straightened the black cap on his head. He
hated the stupid thing. He hated hats. It was one of the reasons he'd never
liked little league as a kid. At least in track and in swimming you didn't
have to wear a hat. He sighed. Oh well, his job could definitely be a hell of
a lot worse.
Opening the door to his bedroom, he started out. Julie was gone already.
He'd heard her leave a good half-hour before. He had to admit that he was
glad. He was glad they'd called a truce, but being around her still made him
uncomfortable. He had no clue what to say to her.
Just as he was grabbing his keys and walking towards the door, there was
a knock. "Coming," he called. He opened it to find Felicity. "Hey there, this
is an unexpected surprise." He leaned down and kissed her.
She grinned and replied, "A good surprise, I hope."
"Always," he grinned back. "So, what's up? I was just headed to work."
"I just came by to talk for a few minutes. Can you stay just for a
while?" she asked.
"Uh, sure. I'll call Javier and tell him I'm gonna be about half an hour
late." He stepped back inside and Felicity followed, closing the door behind
her. She sat on the couch and listened while Ben spoke to their boss over the
phone.
"Yeah, okay. Thanks," he said, then hung up. Turning back to Felicity, he
told her, "Okay, he said that was cool." He sat beside her on the couch and
asked, "So, what's up?"
"I talked to Noel this morning," she said.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. He, uh, he came by. You know, to see me, or whatever . . . Um, it
went pretty well, I think," she said.
"Hmm . . . he came to see you?"
"Just to patch things up," she assured him. Ben nodded. She could see
that this bothered him. She reached down and took his hand. "There's nothing
between Noel and I but friendship. We were very clear on that this morning,"
she said. "I only told you because I thought you should know."
He nodded again. "That's good, I'm glad you told me. And, I know there's
nothing going on, really . . . I just . . . well, you know how you felt when
I first said Julie was moving in here?"
"Yeah, I understand," she replied. "Is she here, by the way?"
"She went to look for a job," he said. "We talked this morning, though.
It went . . . well, okay. She said she wants to call a truce and not fight
anymore."
"That sounds like a good idea. I hope she feels the same way when I see
her," Felicity said sadly.
"I'm sure it will all work out," Ben assured her.
"I hope you're right. I hate the thought of losing her. She was one of my
very best friends."
"I know. I'm sorry this all caused so much . . . havoc," he said. He
pulled her closer and she rested her cheek against his chest.
"I wouldn't have had it any other way. I'm sorry that anyone had to get
hurt in the process, but I'd never trade what we have together," she said.
"Me either," he smiled as he kissed the top of her head.
She sat up and looked at him. "There's something I want to tell you."
"What's that?" he asked.
"Well, I know we haven't . . . well, you know . . . yet. And I know we've
been waiting for the right time and all that. I'm glad we've waited, really.
But, uh . . . well, I think that . . . um, we've waited long enough," she
finally finished.
His eyes held a smile as he looked down at her. "Are you saying what I
think you are saying?" he asked.
"Um, well . . . yeah," she said, rather embarrassed. She knew this would
be hard to say, but she was tired of waiting. Someone had to make the first
move and she had made up her mind that she would be the one to do it. Now,
she wondered if she wasn't being too forward after all.
He leaned down and captured her mouth in a long, passionate kiss.
Apparently he was pleased by this idea after all, she thought. Leaning close
to her ear, he whispered, "I can't tell you how long I've waited to hear you
say that."
Her toes curled at the feel of his breath against her ear. Suddenly she
had no idea how they'd waited so long. "Do you work tomorrow?" she asked, her
voice sounding a little more breathless than she'd expected.
"Nope, you?" he replied. She shook her head. "Okay, then it's a date.
I'll pick you up at 8 o'clock, okay?"
The sound of his voice made her knees weak and she was glad to be sitting
down. She couldn't trust her voice to reply, so she just nodded. He was
looking in her eyes and smiling. God, he's sexy, she thought. She couldn't
help but wonder how she could possibly wait until the next night.

* * * * *

End part 1

E-mail Courtney or Lori!