The Broken Road, part 10
If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you
Felicity looked up and smiled at Sally. "You look
great."
"Thanks. I can't believe I let myself get talked into
this."
"Oh, you're gonna have a great time."
"I hate leaving you alone, though."
"I'll be fine. I have popcorn and An Affair to Remember.
I'll spend my
Valentine's Day in the great tradition of single women
everywhere. Crying
into my popcorn."
"Are you sure?"
"Sally, I love you dearly but get out," Felicity said
pointing to the door
for emphasis.
"Yes ma'am," Sally said jokingly, grabbing her purse
and jacket before giving
her friend a hug and heading out the door. Felicity sat down on
the couch and
pressed play. As the opening music played she couldn't help but
wonder what
Ben was doing today.
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine
"You sure you're gonna be okay?" Sean asked as he
straightened his tie.
"I'll be fine. I've got pizza and some sappy movie that
Chloe rented last
night for me. Lemme tell you that is the last time I let your
girlfriend pick
me out a movie."
"Why what did she get you?"
"Dirty Dancing. The last time I watched this movie I was in
the sixth grade."
"So maybe it'll bring back some memories."
"Haha, very funny."
"You sure you're gonna be okay?"
"I'll be just fine. Go have fun with your girlfriend."
"Okay. I'll see you later, man."
"Bye." Ben sat down on the couch after Sean left and
turned on the TV. As the
opening score played he wondered what Felicity was doing today.
He could only
hope she was thinking of him, because he knew he'd be thinking of
her.
All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly
Felicity sighed as she stopped the tape. This wasn't working. She
just wanted
to see Ben. To talk to him, to hold him, to be with him on this
very romantic
holiday. Biting her lip she went with her instinct and picked up
the phone
before dialing Ben's number.
"Hello?" It was him.
"Ben?"
"Yeah. Felicity?"
"Yeah, it's me."
"Oh my God. How are you?"
"I'm okay. How are you?"
"The truth?"
"Okay."
"I'm miserable. I know what you're gonna say and trust me I
know I deserve
it."
"That wasn't what I was going to say." Felicity laid on
her back on the
couch.
"It wasn't?"
"No, it wasn't."
"What were you going to say?"
"That I'm pretty miserable, too. I miss you."
"I miss you, too. Every single day."
"You do?"
"Yes. Felicity, I love you."
"I love you, too."
"So, what are your plans?" Ben said trying hard not to
cry.
"Nothing major. A movie and popcorn."
"Oh yeah? What movie?"
"An Affair to Remember. What about you? What are you
doing?"
"Eating pizza and watching the movie Chloe got me."
"Which one?"
"Dirty Dancing, if you can believe it." Ben heard
Felicity's soft laugh.
"What?"
"Nothing. I was just thinking about that day in Hawaii when
it rained and I
made you watch It's A Wonderful Life."
"I remember that." Ben smiled before saying, "By
the way thank you for the
sonogram picture."
"Oh, you liked it?"
"I loved it." Ben took a breath before asking her,
"Felicity, do you think
it'll ever be possible for us to be together again?"
Felicity bit her lip to keep from crying at the hopeful tone in
Ben's voice.
"Felicity? Are you still there?"
"Yeah, I'm still here."
"Sweetie, don't cry."
"How'd you know?"
"I can hear it in your voice."
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
But in my dreams I couldn't love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time...
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine
Felicity giggled a little. "I wish you didn't know me so
well."
"I don't think you're gonna get your wish this time."
"Well, if I wished for something else would you try and make
it come true?"
Ben felt his heart start to pound. "Like what?"
"If I wanted to see you, would you come?"
"You know I would."
"Okay."
"What?"
"I'm in Atlanta, Georgia. 651 North Street. I want to see
you."
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
'Cause all I need is you, my Valentine
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine
"Really?"
"Really."
"I'll be there as soon as I can." Ben laughed slightly.
"Thank you,
Felicity."
"Ben, I don't know what's gonna happen," she started to
caution.
"I know. But you're willing to see me, that's the best way
to start putting
our lives back together that I can think of." He paused and
then said
something he'd wanted to since he'd first heard her voice on the
other end.
"I love you."
"I love you, too." He could hear the tears in her
voice. "I'll see you soon?"
"Definitely."
"Bye."
"Bye." Ben hung up the phone and for a moment he just
sat there before he let
out a shout of happiness and running upstairs to get his stuff
together. He
had a trip to make.
* * * * *
"So, how was your evening?" Felicity asked as Sally
walked back in from her
date.
"Great. Thank you again for talking me into saying yes. Mark
and I had a
wonderful time," she smiled.
Felicity returned the smile and told her, "I'm glad."
"So, how was your movie?" Sally asked as she sat beside
her friend on the
sofa.
"Ah, I never finished it," she said.
"What did you do, then?"
She smiled and shrugged. "Talked to an old friend, that's
about it."
Sally eyed her suspiciously, thinking there sounded like there
was more
to her story, but deciding to let it go. "Well, I'm beat so
I'm heading to
bed. It's nearly midnight, aren't you tired?"
"A little, but I'm gonna stay up a while longer."
"Okay, well I'll see you in the morning, then."
"Okay, good night, Sally."
She sat back on the couch and looked at the flickering screen of
the
television. She wasn't even sure what was on. She'd just been
stalling,
trying to stay awake, hoping that Ben was able to make the last
flight of the
evening. It was beginning to look like he hadn't. Oh well, she
was sure he'd
be in sometime tomorrow. She'd just have to wait a little bit
longer to see
him again.
Flicking the television off with the remote, she laid back on the
couch.
She was too tired to walk to her room, she'd just sleep out here.
Her hands
wandered to her growing belly without thought. She was nearly
five and a half
months along and it was really starting to show. She rubbed her
abdomen and
sighed.
"Not long now, baby. Not long till Daddy is finally
here." With those
words on her lips, she drifted off into peaceful dreams.
* * * * *
"Okay buddy, this is it," the cab driver said.
Ben looked out the window at the two-story house. She was in
there
somewhere. It made his heart soar to think that in a matter of
moments he'd
really get to see her again. He turned to the driver and handed
him some
money, then picked up the only bag he'd brought from the seat
beside him and
got out of the car.
As the cab pulled away, Ben looked up at the old house. A glance
at his
watch told him that it was just at two in the morning. He knew it
was late
and that he should have taken the first slight that next morning,
but he
couldn't wait. He just needed to see her so badly . . .
He mounted the stairs and knocked tentatively. No answer. He
tried again,
louder this time. After a moment he heard someone walking to the
door. "Who
is it?" asked a groggy, male voice.
"Um, I'm looking for Felicity Porter?" he called back.
The door opened to
reveal a short, muscular man in boxer shorts and a white T-shirt.
His hair
was sticking up in several places and his eyes were half-opened
so Ben could
tell that he'd woken him up. "Sorry it's so late . . . I
just flew in . . .
I'm really sorry."
"I assume you are the boyfriend?" the man asked.
"Yeah, I hope so," Ben replied.
"Jeff Fraser, I live on the first floor," he said as he
extended a hand
to Ben. Ben shook his hand and smiled sheepishly.
"Sorry to wake up, really," he said.
"No big deal. She's downstairs," he said as he pointed
to the door that
led to the basement.
"Thanks," Ben replied.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get back to
bed," Jeff yawned.
"Okay, nice to meet you," Ben said. Jeff just waved
over his shoulder and
disappeared back inside of his apartment. Ben turned back to the
door in
front of him. He knocked lightly. "Felicity?" he
whispered. Nothing. He tried
the knob, but it was locked. He knocked a little louder.
"Ben?" he heard a sleepy voice ask.
"Yeah, it's me," he said. He watched as the door opened
and smiled when
he saw her.
"Ben," she said with a soft, sleepy smile. "It's
really you." She came
closer and put her amrs around his neck. He hugged her back, so
happy to have
her in his arms again.
"Yeah, it's really me. God, it's so good to see you,
Felicity, you don't
even know."
She stood back and smiled. "I've missed you," she said.
"Me, too."
"Come in." She took his hand and led him into the
apartment. "Sally is
sleeping, let's go to my room," she suggested in a whisper.
He nodded and
followed her. Once the door had closed behind them, she turned
back to him.
"God, I can't believe you came," she breathed.
"I can't believe you'd think for a moment that I
wouldn't," he replied.
"I've been looking everywhere for you."
"I know, I'm sorry I ran off like that," she said.
"I just . . . I needed
time to think about things."
"I understand. So, have you made a decision?" he asked.
"I . . . I guess. I mean, I know I love you, that hasn't
changed. I just
. . . I dunno about the rest," she admitted. She sat down on
the bed and he
sat beside her. Her hands went again to her stomach and his eyes
followed her
movements. She looked over at him and saw where he was looking
and a smile
crossed her face. She reached over and took his hand, bringing it
to rest
with hers on her belly.
"Wow," he said in wide-eyes amazement. "I still
can't believe it."
"Are you sure you're ready for this?" she asked.
"I'm ready, I swear. I love this baby, Felicity. I love her
and I love
you and nothing will ever change that, no matter what
happens."
"I can't forget what you did," she admitted.
"I know, and I can't make up for what I did. It was horrible
and I don't
deserve a second chance," he said.
Tears shone in her eyes as she rubbed her abdomen. "If I
asked you to
help me raise this child, even if we couldn't be a couple
anymore, would you
do that?"
"I . . . Felicity . . . yes, yes I would. I want us to be
together, but .
. . well, if we can't, then I still want to be a father to my
child," he
said.
"You'd stick around even if I couldn't be with you
anymore?" she
persisted.
"Yes, I will always be there for this baby no matter
what," he said
emphatically.
"I don't know what to do, Ben," she said as tears
coursed down her
cheeks. "I love you and I want this to work, but there is so
much we still
have to work through. And now you're here . . . I just don't know
what comes
next," she admitted.
"Maybe I should go for a while," he said as he stood.
"I can get a motel
room nearby and we can talk first, try and get things straight if
that's
possible." She nodded. The last thing she wanted was for him
to go, but she
also needed time to think about everything that was happening.
"I'll call you
in the morning," he promised, then squeezed her hand and
turned to leave.
She sat in stunned silence as she listened to him walk up the
stairs and
out the door. Suddenly, with the soft click of the front door
closing,
something inside her screamed that she couldn't let him go. This
wasn't
right. He was here, finally . . . she couldn't let him go now.
Standing
quickly, she ran outside in hopes of catching up to him. He was
already
halfway down the sidewalk when she ran out into the yard.
"Ben, wait!" she called after him. He turned and saw
her running towards
him and gave her a skeptical look.
"Felicity, it's freezing. You're not even wearing shoes. You
should get
back inside," he said as she approached. But, she wasn't
listening. None of
that mattered. All that mattered was that she not let him walk
away, not even
for a day. She finally caught up to him and threw her arms around
him,
kissing him hard.
When the kiss ended, he looked down at her in his arms. "Are
you sure
this is what you want?" he asked.
"Yes, I . . . I know we have our problems. But, I think we
need to face
them . . . together," she said. He smiled at that. He
couldn't agree more.
They walked hand in hand back into the house and got into her bed
together. Felicity lay spooned in his arms as Ben placed his
hands on her
small, round belly. He kissed her neck and whispered, "I
love you," before
sleep carried them both away.
* * * * *
Ben wandered into the living room the next morning in search of
Felicity.
Instead, he found a woman who he deduced was Sally Reardon.
"Well, good morning."
"Ah morning. Sally?"
"That'd be me. I guess you're looking for Felicity."
"Yeah, is she here?"
"She's out back in the yard."
"Okay, thanks." Ben turned to go.
"Just a second," Sally called.
Ben turned back around. "Yeah?"
"Felicity loves you an awful lot."
"The feeling's totally mutual."
"Good, then you'll understand when I say that if you ever
break her heart
again I will break every bone in your body. We clear?"
"Crystal," Ben smiled nervously.
"Good. Now, go talk to Felicity," Sally said with a
smile as she turned back
to her coffee.
"Good idea," Ben said before heading up the stairs.
Once he found the back
door he slipped out and saw Felicity sitting on the second to
last stair at
the bottom. He sat down carefully behind her and slid his arms
around her.
"Good morning," he said softly.
"Good morning."
"I didn't even hear you get up. How long have you been out
here?"
"Watched the sun come up."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Ok, now tell me the truth," he instructed softly.
"Ben, do you remember this summer on the road?"
"Be a little more specific."
"Somewhere between Kansas and Montana you and I told each
other about our
families, do you remember?"
"Sure," Ben said slowly, not sure where this was going.
"You said your parents had to get married, remember?"
"Felicity, what are you saying?"
She turned so that they were facing each other. "I'm saying
I would never
force you into marriage. I know it's the most logical answer but
it's not the
only option open to us. Living together and raising a child is an
option,
too."
"Not for me." Taking her hand in his. "I love you,
okay? I want to be with
you."
"Ben, we're still in school."
"You said your parents got married before your dad went into
his first year
of med school, right?"
"Right."
"People get married in college all the time."
"Are you ready for that?"
"Are you?"
"We still have a lot to work out."
"I know."
"But I think once we do we'll be able to know if we're
ready," Felicity
smiled. "I think the fact that we've come this far and we
still love each
other puts us on the right track."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Me too." Ben smiled and kissed Felicity before tugging
her into his embrace
and quietly thanking whatever God existed that she was back in
his arms.
* * * * *
"You're kidding me, really?" Sean said into the phone.
"Nope," Ben replied. "I'm in Atlanta as we
speak."
"So, she's coming back with you then?"
"Yeah," Ben replied. "Hey, is it okay if we both
stay at the loft for a
little while? Just until we can find an apartment. I'm thinking
we'll be out
within a month or less," he said.
"Sure, that's fine, yeah," Sean assured him. "So,
I guess I'm about to be
out one roommate, huh?"
"Yeah, sorry about that."
"No problem, I understand, buddy."
"So, do you mind picking us up from the airport
tomorrow?" Ben asked.
"Not at all, what time does your flight get in?" he
asked.
"If we're on schedule, we'll be there at 2pm," Ben told
him.
"Okay," his friend replied, "I'll see you
then."
"Great, thanks Sean."
"Anytime," he said, then cradled the phone. He looked
around the loft and
sighed. He'd grown used to living with Ben. It would be weird for
him to move
out. Plus, this left him with the task of finding a new roommate,
something
he truly hated. Oh well, he thought, at least Ben is finally
happy.
What a week, he thought as he stared out the window of his loft
and out
over the busy city of New York. First he and Chloe had broken up.
Although he
was the first to admit that that was probably for the best, he
still missed
her. And now his best friend was moving out. He was happy for Ben
and
Felicity, but a little sad for himself.
Now the problem became finding a new roommate. Who could he stand
to live
with? Who did he know that might be looking for a place to stay?
He thought
for a moment, then suddenly it came to him. He knew the perfect
person to
ask. Grabbing his coat, he quickly left the apartment in hopes of
tracking
his future roommate down.
* * * * *
"All set?" Ben asked as he came into Felicity's room.
"Yeah," she said as she closed her last suitcase.
"That's about it." She
glanced sadly around the small room. "I'll kind of miss this
place. I shared
a lot of my misery with these four walls," she replied with
a melancholy
grin.
He came closer and put his arms around her from behind, pulling
her close
to him. "I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that
all your misery
stays here," he promised.
"I love you," she whispered.
"Me, too." He rested his chin atop her head and they
both sighed.
"Ready to go?" a voice from behind them asked. They
turned to see Sally
entering the room.
"Yep, ready," Felicity replied.
"I'm gonna miss you so much," Sally said as she came
closer to hug her
friend.
"Me, too," Felicity replied. "Thank you so much .
. . for everything. You
really saved my life, you know."
"Oh, you would've been okay without me . . . but I'm glad we
got some
time together. And I'm glad things worked out for you."
Sally smiled at Ben
as she reached out to squeeze his hand. "Take good care of
her," she said.
"And you both have to call me the second you go into labor.
I want to know
everything."
"Don't worry, you're first on the list," Felicity
assured her.
"I'll come to New York when you have the baby, I
promise," Sally said.
"Thank you, Sally, thank you so much," Felicity cried
as she hugged her
friend fiercely again.
Sally patted her back, then pulled back from the hug. "We
better get
moving. The others are waiting outside to say goodbye," she
told her.
Felicity nodded and followed Sally outside, her hand tightly
clutched in
Ben's.
The front door opened to reveal all of her housemates gathered on
the
sidewalk. Jen and Resa ran up to her first. "I can't believe
you're really
going," Resa said as she hugged her. "Promise to call
us."
"And send pictures of the baby, we can't wait to see,"
Jen added.
"I promise. We'll try and come visit as soon as we
can," Felicity told
them.
"Don't run off to New York and forget about us now,
Haliwell," Trapper
said with a smirk. Even though he knew her real name now, he
still called her
Haliwell. She kind of liked it.
"I won't, I swear," she said as she hugged him.
Jeff was next in line. "Don't forget to email some pictures
of your
artwork. I gave you the address, right?" he asked.
"Yeah, I've got it. Thanks for everything, Jeff," she
said as she hugged
him. Her eyes were teary already and she knew she needed to get
this over
with quickly before she completely broke down.
"Bye sweets, we'll miss you," Sam said as he hugged her
and kissed her
forehead. "Take care of that bambino, I can't wait to see
her." Sam seemed to
agree with Ben; he always referred to the baby as
"her".
"I'll bring her to meet you," Felicity smiled.
"Okay kiddo, let's hit the road," Sally said.
"Bye, we'll miss you!" Resa called as they walked down
the driveway.
"Call us soon, Felicity," Jen said.
"Hey Ben, treat her right or I'll break both your
legs," Trapper called.
Ben nodded nervously and sort of laughed. Not that he ever
planned on hurting
Felicity again, but now that she'd gained so many protective,
older surrogate
brothers he'd be afraid to anyway. And he's thought Noel had been
tough.
Felicity waved and smiled at her friends as they pulled away.
Sally was
driving them to the airport and she and Ben sat in the backseat
together. His
arms were around her as she watched the people that had become
like her
family fade into the distance. Tears were sprinkled across her
cheeks and he
gently wiped them away.
"I'll miss them so much," she whispered to him.
"I know, I know you will baby," he said softly as he
held her in his
arms. "I hate that you have to leave them behind."
"I'm glad we'll be together, though," she assured him.
"That's all I've
ever wanted."
He smiled as he held her close and replied, "Me, too,
Felicity . . . me,
too."
* * * * *