#2.5 Crash

"Grad student plus mother plus blind date equals gay." -Meghan

Aired October 24, 1999

Written by Josh Reims, Directed by Robert M. Williams, Jr.

Guests: Henry Lubatti, Jr. (David), Sally Kirkland (Prof. Sherman), Teri Polo (Maggie), L.B. Fisher (Carl), Marianne Filali (waitress)



Felicity and Noel are just trying to eat, but all Elena can think about is spilling the beans (something about how they both still like each other). Noel chalks it up to sexual repression. Gulp.

Even more titillating is his new video game--which is why he never gets any action. But no, Elena never liked Atari (she had a fake tongue depressor, though).

Felicity finally decides that dating no one is the greatest, but her professor has other ideas. She asks Felicity if she wants to date her son, a grad student photographer kind of guy. Not to mention that she's got an instinct for this kind of thing.

So Felicity dishes the dirt to Elena, whose aunt is always trying to set her up, too. But hey, maybe dating B-list guys will help Felicity exercise her dating muscles. At least that's Julie's theory.

Ben helps Felicity exercise her muscles, too (heavy bags at work). Working with him may be weird, but what's weirder is that catering lady who seems to be into Ben-- that, and poppyseed muffins. She dares him to try her homemade muffins (the likes of which he's probably never tasted before).

Which of course causes Felicity starts thinking about dating. After all, if Ben and Noel can...

Meanwhile, Noel's becoming obsessed with his Sony playstation, even though Elena thinks he should just go out, get an education, then return to the game. Not that she's trying to ruin his lives, or anything. (ed note: repause?)

Professor Sherman's not trying to ruin Felicity's lives, either, when she tells her how to dress for her upcoming date with grad student photographer boy. (more color on the lips, or something)

But Meghan's got her own theory, after she deals with Carl's vomiting: grad student plus mother plus blind date equals gay. G-A-Y. That, and her roomie has reached a new sub-basement of patheticness.

Noel and Elena are reaching new sub basements, too, as they haggle over the Playstation and Noel learns that Elena's been practicing.

But it's Felicity who may need some practice, as her date with that David person seems headed nowhere.

Meanwhile, Ben and Maggie bond over apple tarts, as Maggie trickily shows Ben her catering business. They are about to kiss when the phone rings, interrupting (but hey, Ben got a free tart).

Felicity's probably thinking of tarts, too, anything but David--who is as uninteresting as they come. Plus, there's the whole "maybe if I speak in another language, like French, I'll disappear" thing going on.

So Felicity rushes to call Noel and Elena, who are still deep in Playstation fever. She then tries Julie, who advises her to skidattle. In French, she tells David that she's never been on such a bad date in her life.

Elena and Noel are still going at it (you know what I mean) when Felicity pops by and rehashes her bad date. Unfortunately, no one is listening--prompting Felicity to return to the real world, outside.

What she doesn't expect to see is David--outside her doorstep after Meghan asks about her horrible date. Felicity learns that he was recently dumped by his longtime girlfriend for his best friend. But she refuses a second date.

Meanwhile, Ben invites Maggie (who's being vague about her address) up to the loft for, um, coffee, that and Sean's smoothaise. While Sean's just trying to close a condiment deal with Maggie, Ben's thinking about Maggie's age -- that, and making out.

Which of course leads to other things, as we find Maggie and Ben in bed together the next morning. But alas, she's got to rush off--leaving Ben to wonder why.

Carl, on the other hand, is wondering why the fridge repair person has to fix his fridge in Meghan's room (for two weeks, to boot), while Felicity's wondering what David is doing, following her around (the flowers and candy seem to be working, after all).

Back in cyber land, Noel and Elena attempt to restrain themselves from calling the Playstation help line.

Ben and Felicity aren't trying to restrain themselves any, though, as they each wish each other luck over their respective new "dating / bedhopping" partners.

Meanwhile, Sean's just thinking that Ben's new lover is his mother, but that's not the point (Smoothaise is the point). He tells Ben that he doesn't want to see him get hurt.

So Felicity and David do the second date thing, learning that both are disappointments to their parents. Elsewhere, Playstation possessed Noel and Elena seek the help of a seven year old--and a hyper-spazzed Noel makes their video consultant cry.

Felicity and David end their date on a positive note this time--and Felicity learns he'd be honored to be her B-list guy. But more importantly, there's Noel, the A-list guy, who's finally getting off his duff.

© 1999 jenoy@pacbell.net Please do not reproduce without permission.