Last updated: September 24, 1999

Click on the episode # for quotes.

#0 Pilot
#1 The Last Stand
#2 Hot Objects
#3 Boggled
#4 Spooked
#5 Cheating
#6 Drawing the Line (1)
#7 Drawing the Line (2)
#8 Thanksgiving
#9 Finally
#10 Gimme an O!
#11 Friends
#12 Todd Mulcahy (1)
#13 Todd Mulcahy (2)
#14 Love & Marriage
#15 The Fugue
#16 Assassins
#17 Happy Birthday
#18 Docuventary
#19 Connections
#20 The Force
#21 Felicity was here

#21 Felicity was here: Aired May 25, 1999

"Did you and I almost kiss?" -Ben

"You are the sweetest." -Danny

"I had this epiphany." -Noel

"First of all, there's the Noel factor." -Felicity

"It's like this big unanswered question." -Ben

"It's a flight reflex." -Felicity

"Have a good time at Wicca camp." -Felicity

"I can't go with you because that would make me the devil." -Felicity
"Driving with me makes you the devil?" -Ben

"I've never met anyone so desperate for meaning." -Ben

"I can't be having this conversation because I'm the devil." -Felicity
"You keep saying you're the devil, I'll tell you what -- you are not the devil." -Ben
"What if I am? Then what?" -Felicity
"Then I'd still want you to come with me." -Ben
"You would not." -Felicity
"Yes I would." -Ben
"Okay, first of all, you would not want me to come with you if I were the devil." -Felicity

"He's a good kisser, isn't he?" -Julie

"I'm impressed." -Meghan

"All I have is that I like you." -Ben

"I was in bed last night, alone." -Noel

"Me too." -Meghan

"This could get really complicated." -Ben

"I like ants!" -Felicity


#20 The Force: Aired May 18, 1999

"Do you want me to teach you how to harness the force?" -Meghan

"Everywhere I go, hot chick." -Lynn

"I don't need help with my thing." -Noel

"Little friend." -Obi

"You're clumsy, aren't you?" -Meghan

"Don't have a hissy. The spell didn't work." -Meghan

"We're like 18 years old. And sometimes it feels like we're older." -Ben

"Did you know the largest cherry pie is in Michigan?" -Julie

"That's gross." -Ben

"Sorry about the little ticket slip." -Julie

"What if... I put another ding in Barry's baby." -Ben

"To the trip!" -Felicity

"If you break up with Julie because Nicole did a strip tease, I will kill you." -Felicity

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" -Nicole

"She took her clothes off, which was signal number 2." -Ben

"I know it seems like I'm some nympho or something." -Nicole

"Gum is not candy." -Lynn

"What was that about?" -Ben

"It was a love spell." -Meghan

"Do you believe in magic?" -Felicity

"I thought it was like a done deal." -Guy

"Tell me about it." -Meghan

"I'm highlighting the travel guide." -Julie

"You're doing the guy thing." -Julie

"It's a no brainer, man." -Guy

"Old guys are hot!" -Elena


#19 Connections: Aired May 11, 1999

"Dehydration. Hallucinations. Mother?" -Richard

"I'm disgusting." -Ben

"You're young, perky... and then there's the hair." -Abby

"It kinda sucks, doesn't it?" -Felicity

"We're not here to talk about your hair, Felicity, okay?" -Abby

"Perfect, very managerial." -Noel

"I'm just a guy who gets into a fight every time he gets pissed off." -Ben

"Are you gonna beat me up?" -Guy

"It's just the opposite. I need friendly folks." -Barry

"Moving rooms is very stressful. I need some down time." -Richard

"I'm a little terrified." -Felicity

"That's... that's not intimidating?" -Felicity

"It's weird seeing your professor emotional." -Elena

"It's so hot!" -Richard

"Um, imagine if you will, bagel knobs." -Sean

"I think I'm getting an infection." -Danny

"It's all about foundations... and rebuilding." -Noel
"What's that supposed to mean?" -Richard
"I have no idea." -Noel

"You're going back in the hot box." -Noel

"You're not the real boss of me." -Danny

"I've acted like a freakin' idiot." -Lynn

"Easy guys, it's a convivial environment." -Lynn

"Friends can kiss, right?" -Felicity

"Friends can have sex, too." -Noel


#18 Docuventary: Aired May 4, 1999

"I don't think you know how to make a documentary." -Ben

"I see you've finally succumbed to the insipid world of pornography." -Noel

"This is a private conversation!" -Felicity

"The guy was a minnow." -Richard

"How's it feel to be replaced by Eli?" -Sean

"The idea of love...is a genetic condition." -Felicity

"I said you were sort of addicted to this girl." -Sean

"Your whole body feels heavy like lead." -Hypnotist

"So what's this movie even about?" -Felicity

"Relationships are hard. They just are." -Felicity

"I worry about my dumb friend Ben." -Lynn

"So what's your biggest fear?" -Sean
"That this interview goes on for more than 3 minutes." -Meghan
"Can I ask you about relationships?" -Sean
"I don't know. Can you?" -Meghan

"What the hell was that?" -Elena

"It's like living with a TV that's always playing Little House on the Prairie, only with more sweaters." -Meghan

"I'd get away with all sorts of stuff." -Richard

"Are you listening, Mr. R.A.?" -Meghan

"You want me to change my life so you can make a better documentary?" -Noel
"Would you mind?" -Sean

"Fight for that relationship. And let me videotape it." -Sean

"I feel like I'm in a Barbara Walters interview." -Felicity

"I know what a bell curve is." -Lynn

"There's something transcendant about being around books." -Chloe

"There's smoke coming out of your camera." -Ben

"You're going to be rejected by a whole series of girls." -Elena

"It's just complicated." -Julie

"You gotta hear this baby." -Richard

"They have some kind of like, destined chemistry." -Guy

"You make the call." -Darryl

"This has gotta get steamy." -Sean

"I'm doubtful for some reason." -Ben

"I'm gonna throw up." -Meghan


#17 Happy Birthday: Aired April 27, 1999

"Don't touch me, you guy scum!" -Elena

"I'm calling about your diddle." -Noel

"If you open it and look at it, I will skewer you." -Meghan

"Punching Noel in the nose just isn't the answer." -Felicity
"Yeah, but it might make you feel really good." -Elena

"You're kind of like the lynchpin in this whole operation." -Felicity

"You have a guy?" -Ben

"Little body, big voice." -Lynn

"You're moving out because you and Felicity hit a rough patch?" -Guy

"It is so you, Meggy." -Felicity

"My radiator's going crazy." -Richard

"Faye and I became deeply curious." -Walter

"It's mine!" -Julie

"You're a really good R.A." -Felicity

"Do you have to denigrate me every time you see me?" -Noel

"I'm moving." -Noel
"Moving where?" -Elena
"Any place that accepts guy scum." -Noel

"He had the classifieds." -Elena

"Is it normal to feel schizophrenic?" -Felicity

"How about ring dings, or ho-hos?" -Julie

"That's extreme, man!" -Guy

"To test it you need a headache." -Sean

"Where's your pride?" -Elena

"Second date, tragedy." -Sean

"Your friend just made 2 G's." -Lynn

"My name is Ben. And I am a gambling, G-spending alcoholic!" -Ben


#16 Assassins: Aired April 20, 1999

"Don't you let some mix tape make you go soft on Noel." -Elena

"I lost my girlfriend to a guy wearing floaties." -Richard

"You snooze you lose." -Meghan

"I'm a pacifist and I'd like the conscientious objector status." -Louis

"Lose the day planner." -Julie

"I heard... about your dirty little deed." -Richard

"It's called buyer incentive." -Sean

"You gonna give me a running commentary?" -Noel

"Killjoy." -Julie

"There's some hideous flowers outside your door." -Meghan

"I was with someone... and I slept with him." -Felicity

"Conscientious wuss." -Richard

"I don't know what I was thinking." -Felicity

"People do it all the time." -Eli

"Which one of you clowns has me as your target?" -Meghan

"That's the fakest sounding delivery person I ever heard." -Elena

"She cheats!" -Guy

"He was a minnow who wasn't even allowed outside of the shallow end of the pool." -Richard

"I just need to be shot and left alone." -Noel

"Isn't it ironic how quickly the hunter becomes the hunted?" -Richard

"Your ass is mine." -Elena

"My name is Louis... and I'm the knife wielding, gun toting pacifist of Kelvin Hall!" -Louis


#15 The Fugue: Aired March 2, 1999

"Remarks like 'a real cutie patootie' or 'whenever he makes a mocchachino I get all tingly' are hard to quantify." -Abby

"It was just over compensation." -Felicity

"You gotta keep an eye on your man." -Elena

"You're conflicted." -Felicity

"You're really out of tune here." -Lynn

"What are you doing?" -Julie
"Spying. Blatantly spying." -Felicity

"Only one of us owns this place, and presently, none are paying rent." -Sean

"If you're going to start defending her... I might throw up." -Felicity

"You ready to lay some Lilith Fair lullabies on the assembled multitude?" -Lynn

"I'm just not used to being the girlfriend." -Julie

"Anything with contrapuntal is hard." -Noel

"There was a definite vibe." -Felicity

"I think you're overreacting." -Ben

"No fear." -Lynn

"Would you like a glass of cheese?" -Hanna

"Guys are confused." -Ben

"Wait for me to make up my mind." -Noel

"There's something unbreakable about him." -Felicity

"I'm being really judgmental, aren't I?" -Felicity

"I'm just really nervous and completely out of tune." -Julie

"Understand that word?" -Abby
"What word, conscious?" -Felicity
"It means aware. A-WARE." -Abby

"It was like she was dead." -Felicity

"Is that a thumbs down?" -Eli

"I can't play for crap." -Lynn

"I kissed Hanna." -Noel

"Eli is hot!" -Felicity


#14 Love & Marriage: Aired February 23, 1999

"I'm gonna marry a gay guy too." -Felicity

"Every time I think I've got you pegged, you do something completely bitchin'!" -Meghan

"No muffins for you." -Javier

"It was very... Felicity." -Noel

"Here is your hair net. Learn to love it." -Javier

"Was my song that bad?" -Julie

"I would really, really appreciate it if you would marry me." -Javier
"That's what I thought you said." -Felicity

"And then there's football." -Felicity

"It's too bad I don't have a car... then you could parallel park it for me." -Ben

"I never forget a face." -Lynn

"Turns out, I'm gay." -Ryan

"Are we done with that topic now?" -Felicity

"This is insanity." -Noel

"I like muffins." -Felicity

"How much are you paying her?" -Meghan

"Look at that chunky ring!" -Javier

"I'm her fiance." -Javier
"I think you have the wrong Felicity. Wait, is she knocked up?" -Meghan
"I think you have the wrong Felicity." -Javier

"You want to be them." -Sally

"You don't seem... exactly straight." -Felicity

"She bought that hook, line and fish." -Javier

"Let me call my mama! Ooh, I mean Samuel. Freudian slip." -Javier

"It messes with that whole Circadian rhythm thing." -Lynn


#13 Todd Mulcahy (part 2): Aired February 16, 1999

The ICU scene

"What's going on? You know a guy in there?" -Sean
"Yeah. Todd. He got hit by a bus." -Ben
"Todd the guy who came over the other night?" -Sean
"Yeah." -Ben
"The guy that made that chicken?" -Sean
"Yeah." -Ben
"That was really good chicken." -Sean
"That was good chicken." -Julie

The Quality Mocha scene

"You don't respect the machine." -Javier
"What?" -Ben
"If you don't respect the machine, you will never get the quality mochas." -Javier
"I respect the machine." -Ben
"You clearly have contempt for it. Turn the knob the way you would want to be turned... if you were to be a knob." -Javier

"Todd may be a little eccentric, but you'll never find a bigger heart." -Rebecca

"Did Todd die yet?" -Meghan

"Put your hat on!" -Javier

"I'm just happy that that day is not today." -Felicity

"That kiss was pretty damn good." -Todd
"You need to go home." -Felicity

"We are two smart confident women." -Elena

"Do I look fat to you?" -Javier

"Your brother's got a good arm." -Ben

"Now I'm the one leaving the messages and Todd's the one your running off to be with." -Noel

"She blow you off?" -Meghan

"You're not breaking up, are you? Because that would really screw up my life." -Richard

"I needed this push to get my life back on track." -Todd

"You make an excellent mocha." -Noel

"That's ridiculous." -Felicity

"You have an excellent boyfriend." -Noel

"I used to have that wide eyed thing too." -Art Guy

"Don't beat me up about this." -Felicity
"I'm gonna kick your ass." -Elena

"The student that knows his R.A. is fraternizing with one of his advisees can do whatever the hell he wants." -Richard

"Brutal honesty is the most valued commodity in my family. That and rugula." -Javier


#12 Todd Mulcahy (part 1): Aired February 9, 1999

To Stalk Or Be Stalked

"In the past, I was a little..." -Felicity
"What?" -Ben
"Stalkeresque." -Felicity

"He came to New York because he thinks we're soulmates destined to be together." -Felicity
"Imagine that." -Ben
"Did I ever apologize for that?" -Felicity
"I think we both got over it." -Ben

The Lactos scene

"What the hell is that." -Ben
"Needs a little work, huh." -Sean
"Whatever it is, don't pursue it." -Ben
"I'm going to get some more powdered sugar. Need anything at the market?" -Sean
"Mouthwash." -Ben

The Boning scene

"Thanks for asking me before you bone my best friend." -Elena
"Tara and I never slept together." -Blair
"Well, you should. That way I know you're sleeping with a bitch and she's left unsatisfied." -Elena

"It's in, but I can't feel it. It's the first time I've said that." -Meghan

"I'm just the support guy." -Ben

"It was really good chicken." -Julie

"I hate not being able to walk around naked whenever I want." -Sean

"Ooh, malomars." -Noel

"Why is Dead Poets Society in here?" -Noel

"I will get that kiss." -Todd

"Felicity's got a stalker." -Ben
"Got, or is?" -Sean

"He wants to kiss me." -Felicity
"Well, let him. He's a good guy." -Ben

"You're not his target." -Noel

"Do you think I've lost a childlike sense of wonder?" -Felicity

"I look like a dork." -Felicity

"I dare you to go out with me." -Todd

"Apparently, T-dash-dash-dash came here to kiss you." -Noel

"Look at you, RA and advisee, fraternizing." -Richard

"He's being a real dick." -Ben

"What happens when you meet your true love, your soul mate, when you're just a kid?" -Todd

"Every month I have a mortgage that kicks my ass." -Sean

"Don't get all sanctimonious on me." -Richard

"I guess I should talk to an expert on the subject." -Felicity

"Dude!" -Ben

"I hate that guy." -Noel

"You've probably got an extension conflict." -Todd

"Shouldn't you be talking some sense into her?" -Elena

"There's no way you're going to fall for this guy, right?" -Noel

"This is very rude, you coming here and making all these assumptions about me." -Felicity

"And you're, uh...Meghan's piercer?" -Noel


#11 Friends: Aired January 26, 1999

"Is this why you're trippin'?" -Blair

"She didn't give me a chance when she had me so why should she get a chance now?" -Julie

"What about my self respect?" -Noel
"You'll get it back in an hour." -Sensa

"Are we cool?" -Blair

"Instead of getting one new, good machine that works you buy two crappy ass ones that don't?" -Richard

"I'm bald by choice." -Blair

"It's nice to put a face to a name." -Tara
"Yeah, or a name to a face." -Felicity

"We do business a certain way." -Sensa
"And what way is that?" -Noel
"The family way." -Sensa

"I look like I'm freakin' twelve years old." -Julie

"My cousin's got a gypsy cab." -Sensa

"In Sean's world, toothbrush equals live in girlfriend." -Ben

"I never pictured you as a Payday kind of guy." -Noel
"You picture me?" -Ben

"Whirrrrrrrr!" -Richard

"Thank you for having me." -Julie

"That's the sound of my Almond Joy not dropping." -Richard

"What if you hypothetically saw me kissing one of your hypothetical friends?" -Felicity

"That happened to me and my mom once." -Noel

"It's just too sad." -Felicity

"I can't wait till evaluations." -Richard

"So you see the back of some brother's head and of course it has to be me." -Blair

"I'm just going to stay out of it." -Felicity

"No-EL!" -Sensa's family

"I told them you were my boyfriend." -Sensa

"Are you drunk?" -Felicity

"Someone almost died of Estonian chocolate poisoning." -Noel

"Just like that." -Ben


#10 Gimme an O!: Aired January 19, 1999

"You take my tree, that puts a hex on me and my family." -Richard's roommate

"Kindling, thank you." -Richard

"You know, your tree's dead." -Julie

"You and I should have sex." -Felicity

"It's a done deal." -Computer guy

"We can still do this!" -Noel
"Noel, your room is on fire!" -Felicity

"You were a little aggressive." -Noel

"Was that a toilet flush?" -Julie

"We went snowshoeing in Vermont." -Julie

"Can we slow down? Because I feel like this is being nationally televised." -Noel

"How's eight o'clock?" -Felicity
"For sex? Eight o'clock...eight's good." -Noel

"Do you know how good it feels?" -bookstore clerk

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" -Felicity

"Keep your eye on the ball." -Elena
"What ball are we talking about?" -Felicity

"I heard about your plans to bone the R.A." -Meghan

"Gimme an O! That was my favorite book in eighth grade." -Meghan

"Sexy underwear never hurt." -Elena

"I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria with a headband wrapped around my ass?" -Elena
"You know, not many people could pull that off." -Blair

"It's... stretchy." -Elena

"I feel like I'm the rehearsal." -Noel

"Who was that person?" -Felicity

"I am not wallowing." -Noel

"What do you think of this skirt?" -Elena

"Wow. That's a lot." -Noel

"Are you saying no to me... or to sex?" -Noel

"You're my first boyfriend." -Felicity

"You think it's a national holiday every time you get lucky?" -Javier


#9 Finally: Aired December 15, 1998

"Don't take the Clinton defense with me." -Richard

"People die of indoor barbecues everyday." -Noel

"You need Smart Pow-Der." -Meghan

"Do you think you could fake a bomb threat?" -Pauline

"I get a little hyper." -Noel

"Don't hook up with Ben while I'm gone." -Noel
"I... okay." -Felicity

"First you mock the system, now you want the system." -Elena

"I'm not the biggest fan of warm milk." -Noel

"I haven't seen anyone poorly dressed." -Meghan

"Pretty girl selling fruit, it's straight out of the bible." -Sean

"I've got my own mountain to climb." -Sean
"The fruit mountain." -Julie

"I know, shhhhhhh!" -Felicity

"You guys should put lo-jacks on each other." -Elena
"Yeah, we'll do that. So have you seen her?" -Noel

"You're always wearing sweaters." -Headphone Guy

"Definitely unfit to be an R.A.!" -Richard

"Let's go make out in the stacks." -Felicity
"Till finals are over?" -Noel
"For like an hour." -Felicity

"Do you really want to be the rebound girl?" -Julie

"Just what I need. More pressure from the fruit guy." -Ben

"I don't want to get pregnant. I just want to pass my finals." -Felicity

"Do you know what happens to people whose ass I kick?" -Elena

"It's just that I would rather remain..." -Felicity
"Drug free?" -Headphone Guy
"Uptight." -Felicity

"Your uncle sleeps with dead people?" -Felicity

"What's that smell... like fourth of July." -Noel


#8 Thanksgiving: Aired November 24, 1998

The Nono scene

"I said, 'Ma, if Nono's going to be there for Thanksgiving, count me out.'" -Javier
"Good for you. What did she say?" -Felicity
"There's a little space out back by the garbage. She's going to leave him out there." -Javier
"Wait, so, uh Nono's a dog?" -Felicity
"No." -Javier

"God, it is so weird ordering from you." -Julie
"It'll be even weirder when you tip me." -Felicity

"I'm leaving this -- this blessed plot, this teeming womb." -Louis
"Oh, is, uh, this for good?" -Noel
"No man, it's for vacation." -Louis

"Outlook good." -Felicity

"It is decidedly so." -Noel

"You can talk to me about Hannah. You do know that." -Felicity
"My sources say no." -Noel

"You've been using my razor this whole time?" -Ben
"And your deodorant. Is that a problem?" -Sean

"Did you eat beets?" -Hannah

"Give me back my pit." -Felicity's note

"This is zit cream." -Hannah

"I think its got fur." -Felicity

"We're going to Ye Waverly Inn." -Hannah

"I've had dreams about it." -Noel

"You got to keep this bird moist, ok?" -Javier

"The trains go both ways." -Elena

"I say go with a nice shirt, black jeans, classic contempo casual look." -Sean
"Contempo what?' -Ben

"Try the men's room, it's got a bigger sink. Don't ask me how I know that." -Julie

"I lose control of my motor function." -Noel

"I thought I was just one of your kids in your dorm." -Felicity

"As far as I'm concerned, your beautiful symphony composing girlfriend can move to New York tomorrow." -Felicity

"The turkey is going to be here really soon. With a guy." -Julie

"Where are you going?" -Julie
"Hyperventilate. I'll be right back." -Felicity


#7 Drawing the line (part 2): Aired November 17, 1998

"I'm thinking about growing a goatee." -Noel

"You're not gonna draw another line are you?" -Noel

"I need a verb." -Noel

"If she touches my box....she's dead." -Meghan

"Have you guys been doing adrenaline?" -Story

"I think I'm gonna have to kick your ass." -Elena

"This is one of my favorite parts about college. The unlimited giant bins of sugar cereral." -Felicity

"What's the most you guys would pay for a disposable camera?" -Sean

"Did you rape that girl?" -Darryl

"I just had a pretty wild conversation with my R.A." -Zack

"I don't think I have to have sex to understand when someone's been abused." -Felicity

"You're not growing a goatee are you?" -Felicity
"Not with that tone in your voice." -Noel

"I want to become a cytogeneticist." -Story

"The difference is, when you said stop, I did." -Ben

"I'm relinquishing custody of the party animal." -Elena

"It wasn't me. It was him." -Ben

"Gotta get rid of that." -Felicity

"Did you look in my box?" -Meghan

"It's amazing how we blame ourselves." -Sally

"Takes breakfast up a notch." -Meghan

"I literally can't believe it's not butter." -Story

"And it's fat free!" -Meghan


#6 Drawing the line (part 1): Aired November 10, 1998

"He's gotta draw the line." -R.A.

"God, I am such a buttinsky." -Felicity

"You like guys with more hair?" -Blair

"Did you guys screw yet?" -Elena

The Box!

"My box, did you open it?" -Meghan
"I didn't even know you had a box." -Felicity
"This is it! This is my box." -Meghan
"I've never seen it." -Felicity
"Well, then how did it move?" -Meghan
"Did you ask the box?" -Felicity

"Who here is aware that the singular of graffiti is graffito?" -Astrid, the alphabet girl

"Reverse psychology is not going to work on me." -Meghan

"I really think that I've grown up a lot in the past week." -Felicity
"Really. That must feel good." -Ben

"Why do you have a webpage?" -Felicity
"Why does anybody have a webpage? Too much free time, not enough friends, justify owning a computer." -Noel

"I'm not going to be your girlfriend." -Noel

"So, um, you and I can't talk about Ben?" -Felicity
"That's right. Anything else, though. Ben's clothes." -Noel

"I think I'm pretty nice." -Blair

"I really think that's crossing the line." -Felicity

"See, you're curious." -Meghan

"Let's say I did. Let's say I rummaged through all your stuff, and went through your box. And saw all your naked pictures, or drugs, or whatever." -Felicity
"Well, that's interesting." -Meghan

"Maybe I am a lovesick schoolgirl." -Felicity

"It's just like darts." -Sean
"Except without the darts." -Blair

"Man, she presses your buttons." -Blair

"I thought she was a real self satisfier." -Astrid

"This guy's an idiot." -Noel

"Read the qualifications, it's pretty spooky." -Blair

"The line isn't the problem. It's a symptom." -Felicity
"Wait. Of what?" -Noel
"Of some fundamental discord." -Felicity

"Did you just look in the ghetto file?" -Elena

"So this, uh, guy redrew the line." -Noel

"You're giving me a speech." -Elena

"Haaaiiiiieeeyyyaaa!" -Julie


#5 Cheating: Aired November 3, 1998

"There was a thing from the salsa." -Ben

To flick or not to flick

"He touched your teeth, it means something." -Julie
"My teeth don't mean anything." -Felicity
"Don't you think he touched her teeth?" -Julie
"It was like a -- flick." -Felicity

"Teeth are the most sensitive part of the human body." -Cook

"I was just really confused." -Felicity
"What do you mean?" -Julie
"Like, I sort of passed out." -Felicity

"It was a year ago. I was much younger." -Felicity

Harassment over the Rainbow

"What do you mean by harassed?" -Noel
"I'm in the bathroom, and this girl starts singing 'Somewhere over the Rainbow.'" -Elena
"Harassment? Isn't that more like entertainment?" -Noel

"Maybe the tin man's doing the talking." -Noel

"What a dick." -Ben

"I'm not gonna take it personally." -Blair
"Take what personally?" -Elena
"How unbelievably flaky you are." -Blair

"Sometimes the best thing to do is to step up and take your medicine." -Dean

"He'll eat it up." -Video Guy

"I just squash it and kill it dead." -Elena
"And then you eat it?" -Felicity

"There was this guy coming in -- with a bird." -Noel

"Bite his head off." -Sean

"Irony....it's complicated." -Ben

"I'm a big believer in the fact that the truth comes out whether you tell them or not." -Noel

"You rewrote Ben's essay?" -Rigofsky

"I'm a geek. I'm a teacher's pet." -Felicity

"I like the dancing sandwich maker who hates Halloween." -Blair

"The movie's endless." -Zack

"'If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me.'" -Sally

"I like sandwiches." -Noel


#4 Spooked: Aired October 27, 1998

"Some people are so damn sick." -Elena

"It was surreal, you know?" -Felicity

"I would have wet my pants and started screaming." -Julie

"A homeless guy pushed me over once." -Noel

"A couple of years ago, I was mugged. Which really pissed me off." -Elena

"Pink guy, 12 o'clock." -Felicity

"I had a really amazing night last night." -Felicity
"Really? What happened?" -Javier
"I was almost killed." -Felicity

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom and throw up." -Felicity

"That's an amazing feeling, isn't it?" -Javier

"Would you feel more comfortable with a pumpkin?" -Noel

"He looks like this guy, sort of, except, um, maybe ten years younger, and maybe twenty pound thinner." -Felicity "Um, besides that." -Ben

"I hate Halloween." -Elena

"How does she live?" -Julie

"Can I get you something?" -Julie
"Um, maybe a noose." -Zack

"I saw him kissing the Pink Power Ranger." -Felicity

"I, uh, hear he doesn't have a heart." -Noel

"The next time you need a friend at 2 a.m., call the Pink Power Ranger." -Felicity

"If I want to make out with a Power Ranger, or a ghost, or a cheerleader, I can do that." -Ben

"I had an epiphany." -Felicity

"You treat me like an actual person." -Julie

"I'm a customer now." -Ben

"I guess we all have our own war stories." -Sally


#3 Boggled: Aired October 20, 1998

A little R.A. Ass

"Oh, she's probably in Noel's room, getting some." -Meghan
"Getting some what?" -Elena
"A little R.A. ass or whatever." -Meghan
"What?" -Elena
"She's doing the R.A." -Meghan
"Felicity?' -Elena
"I know, I didn't think she had it in her either." -Meghan

"These are the words from the non-cheater." -Felicity

"You know, you really can't beat dryer sheets for static cling." -Felicity

"Everything's pink." -Zack

"Are you sleeping with our Resident Advisor?" -Elena

"White guys don't usually do it for me." -Elena

"I had you pegged as this uptight, no-fun, like, follow the rules, kiss-ass bore." -Meghan
"Well, actually that's much closer to my personality." -Felicity

"It's sort of a symbol of independence. Owning a refrigerator." -Fridge Guy

"Have you tried bleach?" -Julie

"I'm a big believer, uh, in dealing with issues." -Felicity
"Okay, when?" -Noel
"Oh, uh, usually immediately after the issue occurs." -Felicity

"I get to hang around some really pretentious people, which apparently builds character." -Zack

"Is it cold? Inside, deep down?" -Elena

"That's the process." -Felicity

"Who told you that?" -Felicity
"That Halloween costume you live with." -Elena

"You think I'm dating Noel to get an appliance?" -Felicity
"I think you're dating Noel and getting an appliance." -Elena

"Noel and I have a maybe date." -Felicity

"It feels so good, cold underwear in the morning." -Meghan

"Fake butter doesn't equal an apple." -Felicity

"Are you drinking?" -Julie

"Damn, I was proud of you." -Meghan

"Do you have a thing for the pink guy?" -Felicity

"You're disgusting!" -Felicity

"I am feeling physically and emotionally revolted." -Felicity

"I don't want a pity fridge." -Elena

"I didn't mean to be so reactive." -Pink Guy

"There was a guy playing ball with his dog." -Ben


#2 Hot Objects: Aired October 13, 1998

"My cousins, I mean it, they'd kill for me." -Sensa
"We just want to throw a party." -Noel

"I'm going to be wearing clothes to this party." -Felicity

"We were like a 24-hour virus." -Julie

"Did you get what you wanted?" -Ben
"Inorganic chemistry." -Felicity
"You got that and you're happy?" -Ben

"You think "q" comes too early in the alphabet?" -Julie

"I call it required reading because it isn't optional." -Prof. Garribay

"Next class, bring a hot object." -Kinney

"So does everybody like Ben? And I'm not asking that rhetorically." -Noel
"It's complicated though, because I think Ben really likes me." -Julie
"Should I be writing this down?" -Noel

"You got any special requests for the party? You know, food, drink or music?" -Noel
"How about a copy of Inorganic Chemistry by William Garribay." -Felicity
"Am I supposed to understand that?" -Noel

"It's not really party food though, is it?" -Felicity

"You and I are doing exceptionally well." -Garribay

"You, I get you beeper." -Yuri

"Do you have access to, um...to chocolate?" -Noel

"You want girls?" -Yuri

"Clearly, I've hit a nerve." -Meghan

"Trust me, they're couch dancing." -Meghan

"I feel handsome." -Noel

"I hate these things. A room full of junior high insecurities." -Elena


#1 The Last Stand: Aired October 6, 1998

"Everyone's one snowflake." -Felicity

"I'm just finishing a really bad sentence." -Noel

"I just can't figure you out." -Ben

"I get crushes on everyone." -Noel

"I was using you as a bouncing board." -Felicity

"You honestly think I'm on drugs?" -Felicity

"I have a conscience." -Mail guy

"I wish you were a little more convincing." -Noel

"Years from now, Ben will look back on college and remember Felicity Porter: as that obsessive girl with frizzy hair who not only followed him across country, but then just began randomly sending him information about herself, as if he'd ever asked for any." -Felicity
"Well, if you can live with that, then you're okay." -Noel

"It's gonna be this horrible mediation attempt." -Felicity

"They're a little prepossessed to hate this place." -Felicity

"You're the one who wears hush puppies." -Meghan

"I am so horrifyingly apologetic for that transgression." -Noel

"We should evacuate in an orderly fashion." -Noel

"Suddenly... it was the best hamburger." -Felicity

"It was like I stabbed her in the heart." -Felicity

"You were just one more piece of straw in this whole miserable haystack." -Felicity

"I'm really regretful." -Noel

"That knife thing work out okay?" -Mr. Porter

"I like knives." -Louis


#0 Pilot: Aired September 29, 1998

"He's basically had my life planned out for me since I was pretty much a zygote." -Felicity

"Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can pretty much change your life forever." -Felicity

"She has these...bone sculptures." -Felicity

"I'm the R.A. I'm not a stalker." -Noel

"Is it possible to be just friends with someone I have these sort of immoderate feelings for?" -Felicity

"Trust me. I'm the R.A." -Noel

"She didn't think my underwear was clean enough to be in the same room as her underwear." -Julie

"Oh, my actions. What actions are those?" -Ben

"It's like physics...nothing happens without an effect." -Felicity
"Well, I never took physics." -Ben

"I've done one questionably immoral thing in 17 years." -Felicity

"So I'm gonna just go back to Palo Alto, and get back on track, you know, and become a doctor....and maybe save somebody else's life." -Felicity

"You provoke me, you know?" -Ben

"I've never made a substantial choice in my life." -Felicity

"This is a life struggle. This is fate. This is a challenge." -Noel

"You don't have feelings for me, do you?" -Felicity

"Don't fundamentally disregard everything I've told you." -Noel

"Obviously we've gone over this ad infinitum." -Felicity's dad

"You made an impulsive decision." -Felicity's mom

"It's our reactions that matter." -Sally